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→ A kid gets zero in a paper
Father angrily asks,“Wats this?”
Kid : Teacher dint have more stars to give, so she started giving MOONS..
→ Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?
He wanted the lesson to be very clear!
→ TEACHER: John, how do you spell “crocodile?”
JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
JOHN: Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
→ When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
Because there are no pupils to see!
→ TEACHER :Give me three reasons why the world is round
Pupil : Well my dad says so, my mum says so and you say so !
→ Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school?
Because they're all in HIGH School!
→ TEACHER : What is an island ?
Pupil : A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side.
TEACHER :On one side ?
Pupil : Yes, on top !
→ TEACHER : Why does you geography exam have a big zero over it.
Pupil : It's not a zero, the teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead !
→ LKG Boy on Phone : My son has a bad cold and won’t be able to come to school today
Teacher : Who is on the line ?
Boy : This is my father speaking..
→ Why did Ravi take a ruler to bed?
Because he wanted to see how long he slept!
→ Why was the students report card all wet?
Because it was below C ( sea ) level.
→ Who should be your best friend at school?
Your princi-pal!
→ TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it’s H to O!
→ Why does history keep repeating itself?
Because we weren't listening the first time!
→ If there are ten cats in a boat and one jumps out, how many are left?
None, they were all copycats!
→ Teacher : Isaac Newton
was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity.
Student : Right. Had he
sat in the Class, he
wouldn’t have discovered anything.
→ TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: George!
→ Mother: What did you learn in school today
Son: How to write
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!
→ TEACHER – Can you Tell
me 2 creatures which
Do Not have Teeth.
PAPPU – I’ll tell ma’am. Teacher – Good. Tell me.Pappu – Grandma and Grandpa. . .
→ Teacher: Class, we will have only half days school this morning.
Class: Hooray
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon
→ TEACHER – Pappu,
You Missed School yesterday, Didn’t You.?
PAPPU – No, Not a bit Ma’am.!!
→ TEACHER: “Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?”
JOHNNY: “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the
same day, same time.”
→ TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have
today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WILLIE: Me!
→ TEACHER: “George Washington not only chopped down
his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted doing
it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?”
JOHNNY: “Because George still had the ax in his hand.”
→ Where was the Declaration of Independance signed ?
At the bottom !
→ TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say
prayers before eating?
SAM: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
→ TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on “My Dog” is
exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
DESMOND: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!
→ TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer interested?
PUPIL: A teacher.
→ Teacher : Your son
is Very Good but
spends Too much time Thinking about Girls.
Mother : If you find
a solution, please advise.
His Father has
the Same Problem.
→ TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
→ TEACHER – What are
the people of
Turkey called.?
PAPPU – I don’t know. TEACHER – They are
called Turks.
Tell me What are people
of Germany called.?
PAPPU- Germs
→ TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with “I.”
ELLEN: I is…
TEACHER: No, Ellen….. Always say, “I am.”
ELLEN: All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
→ Math’s Teacher: If you have
12 Chocolates and you-
-
Give 5 to
Lela,
3 to Anita and
4 to Julia-
-
Then what will u get????.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Student: 3 New Girlfriends Mam!!!
→ My nights are going sleepless,
my days are going useless.
So I asked GOD, “is this love?”.
GOD replied, “no dear, result is near
→ A sleeping lion
is stronger
than a
barking dog.
so a
sleeping
student
is better
than a
barking teacher.
→ TEACHER – Draw a
Diagram of bacteria
Sunny – Here it is sir TEACHER – Where.?
You haven’t drawn
anything.
Sunny – Sir Can You
See bacteria without
Microscope.?
→ TEACHER – Your
Chemistry exercise
was bad, I told you
to write it 20 times.
You’ve written it
only 10 times.
PAPPU – Is it ma’am.?
Guess My Maths
is also Bad.!
→ RAJU – Did you
Hear Raghu Snoring
during the morning
School Prayer.?
RAGHU – Yes, he was the
one who Woke me up.!
→ TEACHER – Where is
The English Channel.? PAPPU – I don’t know.
Our TV Channel picks up
Only Local channels.
→ TEACHER – Why were you gossiping around during
my lecture.
PAPPU – It’s impossible,
how do you expect me
to sleep and talk at
the same time.?
→ GEOGRAPHY TEACHER -
If it were possible for me
to make a hole in India
right through the earth, were would it come out.? PAPPU – At the other end, Sir.
→ BIOLOGY TEACHER -
Define a Practical Nurse.? PAPPU – A Practical Nurse
is one who
Marries a Rich Patient.
→ CHEMISTRY TEACHER -
What happens to Gold
when it is exposed to air.? PAPPU – It is probably
Stolen.!
→ PHYSICS TEACHER -
Now as you all know
the Law of Gravity
explains why we
Stay on Earth.
PAPPU – But Where
did people stay
Before the law
was passed.?
→ Teacher : Are you
Good at Math.?
Pupil : Yes and No.
Teacher : What do
you mean.?
Pupil : Yes, I’m
No Good at Math.!
→ TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign
WEBSTER: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”
→ TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math
multiplication on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
→ Teacher: Wat will u do after growing up
Student: Facebooking
T: NO! I mean wat will u BECOME?
S: Admin of facebook pages
T: OMG! I MEAN wat will u ACHIEVE aftr u grow up
S: Facebook Admin Rights
T: IDIOT! I MEAN wat will u do 4 ur PARENTS?
S: I create a page 4 thm on facebooK. 'I LOVE MOM & DAD'
T: Stupid! Wat do ur parents want frm U?
S: My facebook password
T: Oh God! Wat Z DA PURPOSE OF UR LIFE?
S: Facebook.. but never face ur book :P
This is CAlled FB Addiction :D
→ A kid gets zero in a paper
Father angrily asks,“Wats this?”
Kid : Teacher dint have more stars to give, so she started giving MOONS..
→ Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?
He wanted the lesson to be very clear!
→ TEACHER: John, how do you spell “crocodile?”
JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
JOHN: Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
→ When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
Because there are no pupils to see!
→ TEACHER :Give me three reasons why the world is round
Pupil : Well my dad says so, my mum says so and you say so !
→ Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school?
Because they're all in HIGH School!
→ TEACHER : What is an island ?
Pupil : A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side.
TEACHER :On one side ?
Pupil : Yes, on top !
→ TEACHER : Why does you geography exam have a big zero over it.
Pupil : It's not a zero, the teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead !
→ LKG Boy on Phone : My son has a bad cold and won’t be able to come to school today
Teacher : Who is on the line ?
Boy : This is my father speaking..
→ Why did Ravi take a ruler to bed?
Because he wanted to see how long he slept!
→ Why was the students report card all wet?
Because it was below C ( sea ) level.
→ Who should be your best friend at school?
Your princi-pal!
→ TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it’s H to O!
→ Why does history keep repeating itself?
Because we weren't listening the first time!
→ If there are ten cats in a boat and one jumps out, how many are left?
None, they were all copycats!
→ Teacher : Isaac Newton
was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity.
Student : Right. Had he
sat in the Class, he
wouldn’t have discovered anything.
→ TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: George!
→ Mother: What did you learn in school today
Son: How to write
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!
→ TEACHER – Can you Tell
me 2 creatures which
Do Not have Teeth.
PAPPU – I’ll tell ma’am. Teacher – Good. Tell me.Pappu – Grandma and Grandpa. . .
→ Teacher: Class, we will have only half days school this morning.
Class: Hooray
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon
→ TEACHER – Pappu,
You Missed School yesterday, Didn’t You.?
PAPPU – No, Not a bit Ma’am.!!
→ TEACHER: “Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?”
JOHNNY: “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the
same day, same time.”
→ TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have
today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WILLIE: Me!
→ TEACHER: “George Washington not only chopped down
his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted doing
it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?”
JOHNNY: “Because George still had the ax in his hand.”
→ Where was the Declaration of Independance signed ?
At the bottom !
→ TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say
prayers before eating?
SAM: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
→ TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on “My Dog” is
exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
DESMOND: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!
→ TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer interested?
PUPIL: A teacher.
→ Teacher : Your son
is Very Good but
spends Too much time Thinking about Girls.
Mother : If you find
a solution, please advise.
His Father has
the Same Problem.
→ TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
→ TEACHER – What are
the people of
Turkey called.?
PAPPU – I don’t know. TEACHER – They are
called Turks.
Tell me What are people
of Germany called.?
PAPPU- Germs
→ TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with “I.”
ELLEN: I is…
TEACHER: No, Ellen….. Always say, “I am.”
ELLEN: All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
→ Math’s Teacher: If you have
12 Chocolates and you-
-
Give 5 to
Lela,
3 to Anita and
4 to Julia-
-
Then what will u get????.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Student: 3 New Girlfriends Mam!!!
→ My nights are going sleepless,
my days are going useless.
So I asked GOD, “is this love?”.
GOD replied, “no dear, result is near
→ A sleeping lion
is stronger
than a
barking dog.
so a
sleeping
student
is better
than a
barking teacher.
→ TEACHER – Draw a
Diagram of bacteria
Sunny – Here it is sir TEACHER – Where.?
You haven’t drawn
anything.
Sunny – Sir Can You
See bacteria without
Microscope.?
→ TEACHER – Your
Chemistry exercise
was bad, I told you
to write it 20 times.
You’ve written it
only 10 times.
PAPPU – Is it ma’am.?
Guess My Maths
is also Bad.!
→ RAJU – Did you
Hear Raghu Snoring
during the morning
School Prayer.?
RAGHU – Yes, he was the
one who Woke me up.!
→ TEACHER – Where is
The English Channel.? PAPPU – I don’t know.
Our TV Channel picks up
Only Local channels.
→ TEACHER – Why were you gossiping around during
my lecture.
PAPPU – It’s impossible,
how do you expect me
to sleep and talk at
the same time.?
→ GEOGRAPHY TEACHER -
If it were possible for me
to make a hole in India
right through the earth, were would it come out.? PAPPU – At the other end, Sir.
→ BIOLOGY TEACHER -
Define a Practical Nurse.? PAPPU – A Practical Nurse
is one who
Marries a Rich Patient.
→ CHEMISTRY TEACHER -
What happens to Gold
when it is exposed to air.? PAPPU – It is probably
Stolen.!
→ PHYSICS TEACHER -
Now as you all know
the Law of Gravity
explains why we
Stay on Earth.
PAPPU – But Where
did people stay
Before the law
was passed.?
→ Teacher : Are you
Good at Math.?
Pupil : Yes and No.
Teacher : What do
you mean.?
Pupil : Yes, I’m
No Good at Math.!
→ TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign
WEBSTER: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”
→ TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math
multiplication on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
→ Teacher: Wat will u do after growing up
Student: Facebooking
T: NO! I mean wat will u BECOME?
S: Admin of facebook pages
T: OMG! I MEAN wat will u ACHIEVE aftr u grow up
S: Facebook Admin Rights
T: IDIOT! I MEAN wat will u do 4 ur PARENTS?
S: I create a page 4 thm on facebooK. 'I LOVE MOM & DAD'
T: Stupid! Wat do ur parents want frm U?
S: My facebook password
T: Oh God! Wat Z DA PURPOSE OF UR LIFE?
S: Facebook.. but never face ur book :P
This is CAlled FB Addiction :D
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